The Eliab Syndrome

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So you have been dating/talking for a while now, but every time you believe that you have made a step forward together, the other individual takes two steps backwards. Eliab is that individual that has or seemingly has it together knowing what they want to accomplish, but is too fearful to move on it. They appear ready but in their heart, they are far from becoming committed to anybody.

Don’t Confuse Eliab for David:

“And it came to pass, when they were come, that he looked on Eliab, and said, Surely the Lord’s anointed is before him. But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.” 1 Sam. 16:6-7

After Saul’s disobedience, God told Samuel to anoint a new king among Jesse’s sons. He never said upfront who it was and when Samuel saw Eliab, He believed this was he. After all, he was the first son of Jessie, he had a good countenance and he was enrolled in the army. All his siblings probably looked up to him (literally). Who better to lead of Jesse’s sons than this man? But God saw that his heart was not where it should be. David on the other hand, who was not even invited to the feast, had the heart that God was looking for. After all the other sons of Jesse passed before Samuel they were not chosen and David was sent for.

God had Samuel anoint the shepherd- this wouldn’t make sense to most of us. But God looks beyond all we see. Later as the story transpires we see the difference between the hearts of David and Eliab:

“And as he talked with them, behold, there came up the champion, the Philistine of Gath, Goliath by name, out of the armies of the Philistines, and spake according to the same words: and David heard them. And all the men of Israel, when they saw the man, fled from him, and were sore afraid. And the men of Israel said, Have ye seen this man that is come up? surely to defy Israel is he come up: and it shall be, that the man who killeth him, the king will enrich him with great riches, and will give him his daughter, and make his father’s house free in Israel. And David spake to the men that stood by him, saying, What shall be done to the man that killeth this Philistine, and taketh away the reproach from Israel? for who is this uncircumcised Philistine, that he should defy the armies of the living God? And the people answered him after this manner, saying, So shall it be done to the man that killeth him. And Eliab his eldest brother heard when he spake unto the men; and Eliab’s anger was kindled against David, and he said, Why camest thou down hither? and with whom hast thou left those few sheep in the wilderness? I know thy pride, and the naughtiness of thine heart; for thou art come down that thou mightest see the battle. And David said, What have I now done? Is there not a cause?” 1 Sam. 17:23-29

David was firm in the word of God and who God was and he was not afraid of Goliath meanwhile, the entire army of Israel including Eliab were afraid. Eliab was fearful and unbelieving; David on the other hand was a brave warrior who saw God as his strength. This is how you differentiated the two.

Bravely Believe in Your Relationship

David exhibited that spirit that Joshua did, as he was not afraid to go into the promise land and claim it even though most of his companions were afraid to.

Eliab because He was fearful and unbelieving could not access the process. Like wise, there will be many promising individuals that come into your life during your single man/woman journey. They come for different reasons. They may be in love with you, some will be there because of your offering, some may come just to not be alone, some are just in love with the idea of you, but be assured if they have the Eliab syndrome, they will not move beyond fear of things not working out after a commitment or may not truly believe that you are the one for them. It will be hang-up after, hang-up but at the root of these will be fear and unbelief.

The individual that you marry should be one that is willing to fight for your relationship to work. They should come with an overcoming sprit, not one of defeat. If there is defeat before your union, it will be a sure disaster of a marriage. The word of God declares:

“He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son.But the fearful, and unbelieving, …..shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.” Rev. 21:7-8


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