Making Love Transitions

… And then you meet someone who seems to be all you ever daydream about. In the midst of the excitement, are the questions of uncertainty with what will happen next. Well these three things can help settle your mind.

Commitment

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You need to know that you can trust this individual with being faithful to you. The coming together of two people also means the leaving behind of other things. Some of this requires careful planning because it may require leaving family, friends, employment, homes and whole long list. It is not wise to take these decisions without being committed in that relationship. So one of the first things that should happen before any such decision takes place; is actually being engaged. An engagement officially declares that we are planning to spend the rest of our lives together. It is a official commitement. It also causes the individual to be accountable to you and others for upholding the relationship.

Accountability

Once you are committed to each other. You each have a responsibility to build and direct your relationship. Accountability is very important in ensuring that even though you are not married there is a support system that will ensure that you do. Accountability involves other individuals who help in making the transition seamless. These individuals include but are not limited to pastors, marriage counsellors, parents and close friends. They help to guide you especially in difficult moments. Accountability is very important; imagine taking a decision to leave your employment and home and then the other person changes their mind. That could be devastating.

Future Security

After being committed and accountable to each other, there needs to be some level of comfort as to what the future will be.  Where will we live? Will there be sufficient income? Will I be worse off than I was before I got married? These will be especially important to the individual who will have to leave most behind.

If these three areas are resolved it begs for a good start to marriage bliss. But I will advise that if there is no commitment, one need not to worry their brain about what it is that will happen. Enjoy each day rather than stress about it. Once you become committed deal with the questions as they arise. Remember to enjoy every day, make note of them, they will be fund memories to review later on in life.

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Love Expectations

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When I think about my future husband, I always imagine someone who is not only going to be a lover but someone who is able to be my best friend, brother, partner, pastor and companion. Based on what or who I saw, there came a time when I took a decision that maybe I’m better off by myself. I can’t speak for all women, but I do believe that we don’t just want to be a spouse, but rather we want to be a part of his everything.

I want the love of my future husband to recognise that I’m more than a beautiful face and shape. I have God aspirations. I am anointed to do great things in the Kingdom. I am poised to be great in all aspects of my life. I want him to know that the spirit of excellence is upon my life. And I want him to also appreciate all these things about me.

I’ve never believed in mediocrity, though sometimes in my zeal I might overlook some areas and things might appear that way. And so, I am by no means seeking mediocrity in a life partner. I wonder at times, do I have a perfect match? And if I get together someone that meets my expectations, will I meet his? Oh the mystery of God’s will at times.

Our expectations can be so crazy that we get love in the palm of our hands but might not hold to it because, it doesn’t meet our expectations. The goal is to ensure that we base our love expectations on Godly principles. Before forming expectations, get in the WORD. What says the Bible about a good wife or husband? How should they operate? If our expectations are flawed, we might in the future endure hard times in our relationships when these expectations are not met. My prayer today is that in looking for our spouse, we build our expectations on the principles that God has set out in the WORD.