Woke up to the sad news yesterday that yet another apartment on my complex was invaded by criminal elements who somehow have concocted a scheme that once there are no men living in an apartment then that’s their key. It brought me back to a few weeks ago when someone broke in our apartment while we were sleeping. Even though they left empty handed because an alarm was raised, it was a little disquieting to say the least. To an extent, it was as if this situation would cause a major disruption in my life as I had problems sleeping due to fear that the culprit would come back.
I had to literally stop and anchor my faith in God, knowing that He was my Protector. Of course, people offered their opinion as to how our (My roommate and I) problem could be fixed. One of which was to “get a man.” It’s easy to go shack-up with any and anybody just to have that male presence to ward off the evils of the night. Yes it is. But because I am waiting on God’s will for me, I know he’ll be my protection until that day when I have my own husband to protect me.
It should also be noted that God’s protection does not negate us being wise and taking precautions to ensure our safety. As single women, we have to protect ourselves from these individuals. Lock our doors and windows, get burglar bars, arm ourselves so that we have the ability to defend ourselves should the need arise. We must also be alert in our surroundings. Take note of the people you see every day. Most individuals who are targeted for robbery and or rape most times appear oblivious to the surrounding area being dangerous. Let’s be wise in all that we do, looking out for each other while making each day count.
We don’t have to live in fear. We don’t have to have a spouse to be protected. We can live and enjoy our lives as God intended, Single or Married. Protect yourself!
I’m all for people being creative with technology, but deliberately calling someone you don’t know and then through pretense try to get a date is just crazy.
Have you ever had someone called your phone, only to find it’s a wrong number? Then the person on the other end tries to make a pass at you saying let’s get connected.
Yesterday after one of the most amazing church services I went home and saw two missed calls on my cell phone. I didn’t know the number but called it to see who was trying to reach me. A gentleman answered on the other end and he politely said I’m really sorry about that I think I dialed the wrong number. Moments after that, I received a text message from the same number: “You were not the girl I was trying to reach, but your voice sounds so sweet. Can we become phone friends?” I was immediately reminded of a movie I was watching with some college girls that did that to meet men who they eventually slept with or scammed for money. I also remembered being harassed by a particular young man after my cell network started offering free nights. I had to literally ignore all numbers that I didn’t know for him to stop calling me.
While this could be harmless (i.e. It was an accident) and end up in a meaningful relationship. It can also be dangerous. I also thought of the fact that many adventure seeking young people delve into the practice not taking into consideration that there are so many sex offenders at large. It is not wise to get caught up in this practice as a way of meeting people.
Yes you might be lonely, but try meeting others using safer means. It’s better to be single than to put your life in danger! Please let’s be wise!
Over the past few weeks I saw how my expectation of others based on a projection of myself can cause me to be resentful. This is not just limited to a relationship, but upon evaluating me, it was found to be rampant in every aspect of my life.
I saw how selfish I was in that I expected others to carry out a requirement because it seems so easy to me. This lead me to think, we have to be careful about our expectations of others. Before we cast judgement, we must fully consider what the other individual’s circumstances, feelings and abilities dictate.
Take this simple scenario:
Jill started dating Neville two months ago. She is head over heels for him but really gets annoyed at the fact that earns well but drives a car that breaks down every 15 minutes. She often presses him to get a new car, because in her mind that is the sensible thing to do. She became so resentful of the fact that he has not heeded to her request that she started making subtle disrespectful comments regarding the same. This caused Neville to start questioning if this was the woman he wanted to be with. Unknown to Jill, was the fact that, even though Neville earned well, he had inherited a substantial amount of debt after his father passed and even though he is not living with his family He was the sole bread winner. As such he was maintaining two households. Even though Neville himself knew that he needed a car, this responsibility required him to prioritize Also, not known to Jill was the fact that Neville was just about finished with paying off his father’s debt and His brother just finished his first degree and is seeking employment so that he can also contribute to the household.
I know, you are probably saying that Neville could have told her when she started pressing him to get a car. But it cannot be taken for granted that people most times only divulge what they are comfortable divulging. Women especially need to understand that the men in their lives are not idiots and there is reasoning behind what they do. Let’s not take on judgmental tones but seek to understand why the people in our lives take certain stances.
It’s not enough that it makes sense to you, but does it make sense to the other person? Instead of dictating calmly ask why in an undemanding tone. It will work wonders in your relationships.