I have always looked for the critical path- the shortest possible route in everything that I do. Being efficient has always been a big deal to me. I found the fastest way to earn a degree, the fastest way to finish work projects, to get house work done, to get promoted, to own a home etc. However, my critical path methodology never seemed to work on relationships and this is why. My career, education, physical possessions and all these things are all different from relationships. Relationships don’t happen because you plan them.
Relationships require intimacy (closeness, familiarity, understanding, confidence, affection, tenderness). Now to be honest I have met individuals that I felt connected to. But I can’t remember ever having a confidence in someone’s character, to really trust to the point of vouching for them. I had deep affection, I felt close and there was even tenderness. But I was short tempered and not patient with a lot of things, and it boils down to confidence in the other person. Just as I can say the Lord will deliver me, because I know he will. If I know for real that this individual’s motives are true then I can rest in that fact. But I can’t be confident in what I don’t know.
Men are sometimes not truly expressive of who they are in ways that women appreciate. And even if they talk a lot, its usually a bunch of stuff that has nothing to do with the main course. Fellas if we don’t know you, we wont trust you. Trust comes from intimacy. Knowing enough to believe. Trust is not faith. Trust comes with evidence that can be seen. Women require security- not knowing makes us edgy and annoying. Ive been there. I’m happy today that I’m over that. I have a God with whom I’ve learned to be intimate. Not just praying because I know I have to pray. But to actual know him and commune with him, it is just a blessing. This gives me the strength to wait. I’m learning to be patient with others. It has now created the basis on which my relationship with my future husband will be built.
One of love, trust and sweet communion. I’ve found a new critical path- thank you LORD!