It’s not a want, IT’S A NEED!

 Though it is customary for all to think that all women live in Lala-land believing in a prince Charming or that we all yearn for “tall dark and handsome”- when you get to the core of us you find that- this is sometimes far from the truth.  Women come in many variations and are sometimes so diverse that it’s hard for men to understand us. But there is one language that when spoken correctly we all get it! It’s called love.

 This is most definitely not talking about a man that is being overly needy or jealous—its more about someone that goes above and beyond to love his woman on her terms not expecting anything in return.

Loving her on her terms shows her that you pay attention to her needs. Loving her on her terms could mean that you hold her hands when walking together just because she likes it.  It could be not holding her hand because that’s not her thing.  Either way, you must make her feel loved on her terms without making her feel like you are doing what you do because you are expecting her to do something in return. When men do things just for returned favors it puts them in a position to get used.  A man has to understand that that love void in a woman if filled creates an aim and desire to please him.

 The worst thing a man can do is threat the woman in his life like a second class citizen, even if it is not intentional. Many marriages break up because men work too many hours, or are too busy with other things. Even though she knows it’s to support the family not receiving that loving affection throws her off.  Many women get frustrated not receiving this love and are led to think that their significant other is unable of loving them as they ought.  This lack further derails the relationship as additional voids are highlighted and before you know it, two people that were once in love find themselves in nasty divorce battles.

 It doesn’t have to go that far. Let’s do what the Bible says: Eph. 5:22-27: Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

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My Conversation with Society 2 Weeks Before My 30th Birthday

kerrybeach

Society: Well hello there. It’s drawing near…

 Me: Hey

Society: How are you feeling?

Me: Just wonderful I tell ya, great things are happening in my life.

Society: Great things? You’re single! Your biological clock is ticking so you better hurry up.

Me:  Huh?

Society: Girl don’t you know you can’t hug your degree or your career?

Me: Seriously, who goes to school to hug a degree? Are you trying to tell me that the men of today don’t appreciate strong, intelligent women? Why should I have to choose between a family and an education/Career?

Society: It doesn’t look good. The ideal is for a woman to establish her home and family by age thirty. If you start now you can make it before you turn thirty one.

Me: Just what are you trying to say? Just grab any old body?

Society: An apple is apple. It doesn’t really matter. Choice is overrated when you are lonely.

Me: I can understand your point on loneliness; no one wants to be alone.  I don’t want to be alone. Now Society, you listen, I have absolutely no intention of adding to the already high divorce rates that saturate your existence. My reason for getting married will never be to fit in your little box. It will be to someone I love that also loves me, for me.

Society: hahaha , you are going to be an emotional wreck, you wait and see. After that you’ll become a hard unhappy stone that will make the life of everyone around you miserable.

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Me: Society if that’s how you feel about me I’m withdrawing my membership from you. Your definition for a good life is wrong and only seeks to please eyes and the status quo. I’m choosing to be defined by what the word of God says. The man that finds me will find a good thing. I won’t be desperate, I’ll be wise in waiting. Trusting God’s direction and instructions  to my true love.  I will “Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen my heart.

A Little Advice:

Dear singles if you have to lose track of who you are to fit in someone’s ideology, it’s not worth it and you won’t be happy. Do you. And do you the right way.

 Till next time God bless you!