“I’ve Invested Too Much”

investment

I have invested too much to leave.

If the above is your sole reason for staying in a relationship you will always be missing out on the joy of having a union in which you are treated the way that you are to be.

So many men spend heavily on women that have no real desire of being with them but despite being treated like the scum of the earth they stick around because “they have invested too much.” There are women that stay in abusive relationships to their deaths. Why? “They have been together for years and there is just too much invested. But who really gains from these arrangements?

Recently there has been much news about Ponzi investment schemes, which promise high interest and quick returns. So many people invested all their life savings in them because of a hope living free. Why should they work if their money can work for them? Right? Only to find that after a while these schemes failed and they ended up losing everything having to start all over again (I know a few people that this happened to).

There is much similarity between a Ponzi scheme and being in a relationship investing away in something that is not real. You might get some return that might be high in your book, like filling the need to not being lonely, social status, financial support, etc. However be assured of this, if the instrument you invest in is phony, even if you are getting some amount of return, its failure is only a matter of time.

I will however advise don’t just leave a relationship because you feel mistreated as sometimes we make things bigger than they actually are. Pray about it. Seek a third unbiased opinion. Get counselling; who knows maybe everything was a big misunderstanding. Whatever you do, take a decision that’s in the best interest of your heart.

God Bless You

Spoilt Tomatoes, Buyer Beware

 

Tomatoes-007

Normally when I shop for tomatoes I would go to the vegetable market, handpick the ones I want after scrutinizing them individually before I pay. If I pick one up that’s bad or show signs of rot, I would put it back in the pile. But there are times when I buy tomatoes in the supermarket and they are nicely packaged and wrapped in a size that’s very convenient to me.  No time to handpick, I  just grab and go.

Its time to cook and I reach in my refrigerator for the tomatoes that I bought at the supermarket nicely packaged only to fine that, they weren’t all that lovely as they were packaged in a way that the rotten parts were not revealed. Sounds familiar…..

It should be, if not with vegetables, with relationships. You meet someone and they are out of this world amazing only to find that they were only disguising their true rotten self. Often when you figure it out you have already made the purchase or have given of yourself something that you can’t take back, your effort, time, emotions etc. Yes it sucks, cause no one wants to get stuck with rotten tomatoes.

So this is what you do:

  1. Be very PATIENT in selecting your significant other.
  2. Scrutinize before you buy. Its better to find out the individuals fault before you commit to them. In doing this everyone is on the same page limiting the potential for relationship threatening surprises.
  3. Ask God to guide you in selecting, He won’t steer you wrong.
  4. And finally, be HONEST and true about yourself. If you don’t want to take home a rotten tomato, don’t be one.

God Bless J

Hearts In Storage

As it is on the dating scene, people move from mate to mate in pursuit of that special someone. As a result of this, some people get hurt. Some of this hurt takes years to be healed. Sometimes people don’t get over it but instead become bitter and harden not really letting others in.
While some can successfully move on after a breakup, forgiving and then entrusting their heart to someone else; others may give up on relationships all together while others continue having relationships not truly opening up their hearts to those they are with. We can see how the latter two can create problems. A relationship is a true connection of body, soul and spirit. Center to this connection is the heart. Heart has to be in it. However, a situation is created where people are in relationships and their hearts are just not available. Not available because someone broke it.

These broken hearts are treated similar to how we treat our other broken possessions:

  • we get it fixed,
  • we remove it from operation and store it somewhere that it is not seen or
  • we toss it out.

I want to however, zoom in on the heart that is broken and placed in storage. I recently started using fresh or dried beans when cooking rather than buying the canned ones as I found it to be a healthier choice. I was fascinated to see how the dried beans came alive after being soaked in water for a while. Through the process of osmosis dried cells were rejuvenated. Makes me think about the hearts that are broken and stored away. Left dry and hard, that they can come alive again if infused in the water of love and healing.
Paramount in this healing process is forgiveness. If people fail to forgive, they will remain bitter and hard. Too many singles fall in this boat. Unresolved issues cause serious problems when people come together in a relationship. If you are currently dating, and suffered from a broken heart try forgiving those who have hurt you.

It is also good to communicate your grievances with the those that have hurt you. Get it off your chest calmly and respectfully. Face the problem or the issue. Apologize when you are wrong and be ready to release people even when they have wronged you and refuse to accept it and apologize. The freedom that comes from a clear conscience is priceless.

Trust God to heal you. His love is above all and He  mends the broken heart!

Don’t place your heart in storage- fix it!