Many of us can testify of how difficult it is to find and maintain good and healthy relationships that lead to marriage. We see it all around us. People meet, like each other, become a couple, sleep together fall in love, may or may not have a child and then get married. This is the norm of our society. Then here comes the Bible telling us that there is another way. A way that says you can’t do what you most want to do until you have seal a commitment between each other. Commitment? In today’s age, commitment comes after you have tried and proven a thing in every way.
There are professing Christians that also take a stance that they wont marry someone that they haven’t had sexual intercourse with. This too is at the heart of the commitment issue. But, if we think about it carefully we will see that our life in Christ is also built on the premise that we make a commitment to live by faith, with our hope based on Him coming to take us to a better place. How will we commit to Him if we can’t even commit to our life partners the way He intended? Remember He sees us (the Church) as His bride. His commitment to us is unwavering and His ultimate sacrifice is worth whatever sacrifice we will make in abstaining from fornication.
Yes, it seems to be a harder away but I believe it will be worth it and He will be worth it. So in the meantime I will turn down all offers that are not in accordance to the will of God for my life. Because of this these questions are posed to me:
“Do you want to remain single?”
No I don’t. I have a hope that I’ll one day be married to a wonderful man of God– that is the substance that has kept and is keeping me. I’m willing to wait for the Lord to send him my way.
“What are you looking for in a spouse?”
- Faithfulness to God, family and responsibilities.
- He must love the Lord and be madly in love with me.
- Someone who is easy going by nature and very perceptive
- Someone who is ministry focused
- Integrity, honesty
- Someone who is able to provide for me and my future children
“What do you appreciate about being single?”
Being able to lay in bed all day if I want to- even though this never is the reality even though I try. I guess I appreciate the freedom of being able make my own decisions on my own time with my own resources.
“How have you coped with loneliness?”
For the most part I try to see my being single as an opportunity to prepare myself for my future. In so doing I use the time to learn about being a good wife, both from reading and from older married women, establishing my career and doing other things that might be difficult to do when I get married. I like being right or to do things right so I try to learn how to do things that I’m not good. Loneliness is easier at some points than others. Sometimes when the emotion comes I try to find something to do so I don’t think about it– doesn’t work everytime. Other times I pray that the Lord sends me my husband fedex- and then I look at peers or others I know who rushed into marriage to not deal with urges and loneliness and hear their testimonies of wishing they had waited and then went back to praying.
Advice to other singles:
Don’t settle for any and anybody. Don’t make your decisions on emotions because they have a way of fading and then you find yourself stuck with a permanent mistake. Love yourself and seek the Lord for a partner. Respect yourself and give to no one the power to abuse you. We are all beautiful in our own way all we have to do is be ourselves.